I've been in Australia for the past week. It feels in some ways like an infusion of new thought, vacations are chances to let go of every day concerns, chances to allow thoughts that are normally in the back of the mind to surface. It's been raining for most of the trip, but Ajey and I have made the most of the time laughing about rediculous things making a "Mockumentary," taking walks, meeting up with friends. We went to play dominoes at some friends house the other night, Heather and Lee. Heather has a great sense of humor, she laughed and teased Lee, pretended to be obsessed with winning... somehow that laughter got into me and the next day I burst out laughing simply recalling something funny that had been said. That was a piece of me that has been missing for many years. I feel sort of like I'm gathering myself up from a puzzle that was scattered all over the world. We also had a chance to meet up with a therapist, this man was brilliant, spot on in the answers he gave to my questions. I really need to find someone like that back home. Why is it though that so many people are lost and confused, hurt or hurtful? Why is it that so much of life is not enjoyed but pushed to the corner of our world until it becomes a point of pressure that builds up until you feel like bursting. TIME goodness if only the things that we do to keep our lives running like working and studying could be condensed... or somehow more fully integrated into our lives so that we are aware of what we are doing each moment, not just turning in our time cards to no one in particular. If only we could simply live a bit more. I see the whys of things, I see that we can't spend all of our time studying, working, relaxing, singing, too much of any one thing creates too little time for anything else. Then how are we to live? Impediments are fatigue, fear, doubt I believe them to be the main impediments. Then we need to be rid of these impediments. For me I get sick/have a reaction to certain foods/spices and that really blocks my ability to enjoy my life, the biggest reaction is a bad headache, plus ringing in the ears, fatigue. It's hard to pin point which food triggers the reactions though, today it all began with cinnamon. It really puts a cramp in life though when you have to give people a list a quarter mile long of things you can't have... actually I think I will do that, make a list, get it laminated, translate it into several languages, make it simpler... I learned from the therapist that to state the truth is the ultimate in importance in relationships, then others can think about what you say, and decide what emotions and behavior they will show. I'm going to think about that on the plane ride home, it's going to be a long one, I'm leaving tomorrow morning. As for now I'm off for some rest. Goodnight
