2/19/2024
Sometimes it's hard to imagine when I look at the whole of my life that it's all really happened, I got through it all and I'm on the other side to this new phase of not having young children about. Sometimes I really miss just having them all here, but they've all grown so well and they are such fun people. I'm amazed at how wonderful they all are.
I've always been a romantic, I have a certain way of looking at the world and seeing all this beauty. I saw flecks of different kinds of rocks in the top layer of the concrete that was coming up off my grandparents patio. I would collect little bits of it, and so would my brother.
When I would look down the side of the garage I saw the bright red of the bricks, the ivy vines, the spiders webs. I saw the cracked window, the gloomy light and felt the coolness of it out of the hot sun.
I feel everything so deeply sometimes.
I used to dream that my life was more luxurious than it was, I put up silky sheets around my four poster bed and pilled pillows up. I took the little vials of perfume that I got from my grandmother and dabbed it on the end on the little toppers at the top of the pillars around the bed so that I could smell them.
When I would lay awake at night I listened to the sounds of the trees, there were so many in the field behind our house. The sound was hypnotic, soothing, it was a big comfort to me.
I identified a lot with Anne of Green Gables.
