This life is full of loneliness and small moments of connection. Sometimes it is hard to reconcile ourselves to that fact.
I remember when I was really little I didn't understand the feelings of achy emptiness that I sometimes felt. That space feels a little bit like sadness, a little bit like boredom, a little bit like pain.
Yet try as we might that space is never completely filled. It is a space that we have to come to terms with, accept. Otherwise we stumble from one situation into another looking for fulfillment. It is something that no one can fill really, though they might try and you might try to cram them into the achy part of your heart. Some people fit there better than others, but will never completely fit. You really just have to come to terms with it yourself.
I've found that I can be less lonely by myself reading a good book than with someone who is jabbing at my sensitive heart with innuendos and noise.
Somehow I thought I would have figured out how to handle relationships and people better when I grew up. I've grown up, I still don't know what I am doing. I still haven't mastered the art of relationships, or even being thoughtful for that matter. A lot of times I really, really am not thoughtful. I get into a situation where I should have been thoughtful, someone's birthday, someone's celebration... or just moments where being thoughtful would have been nice like getting someone food before they ask, or some other thing... I don't know, sometimes it feels like I'm hesitating because I just don't know what is going to help, or what someone really wants. That's the frustrating part.
Anyway, life lessons.
SG
I remember when I was really little I didn't understand the feelings of achy emptiness that I sometimes felt. That space feels a little bit like sadness, a little bit like boredom, a little bit like pain.
Yet try as we might that space is never completely filled. It is a space that we have to come to terms with, accept. Otherwise we stumble from one situation into another looking for fulfillment. It is something that no one can fill really, though they might try and you might try to cram them into the achy part of your heart. Some people fit there better than others, but will never completely fit. You really just have to come to terms with it yourself.
I've found that I can be less lonely by myself reading a good book than with someone who is jabbing at my sensitive heart with innuendos and noise.
Somehow I thought I would have figured out how to handle relationships and people better when I grew up. I've grown up, I still don't know what I am doing. I still haven't mastered the art of relationships, or even being thoughtful for that matter. A lot of times I really, really am not thoughtful. I get into a situation where I should have been thoughtful, someone's birthday, someone's celebration... or just moments where being thoughtful would have been nice like getting someone food before they ask, or some other thing... I don't know, sometimes it feels like I'm hesitating because I just don't know what is going to help, or what someone really wants. That's the frustrating part.
Anyway, life lessons.
SG
