Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Two Frogs

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them
fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit
was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The
two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit
with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop,
that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took
heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down
and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again,
the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He
jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the
other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to
them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the
entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging
word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it
through the day.

2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes
to kill them.

Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your
path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand
that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak
words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in
difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time
to encourage another.

Author Unknown

Old Fashioned Pictures

My Grandparents look like the poster children for "Coke" in this picture (1940's)



(Grandpa was quite strong eh?)


These pictures were taken before Grandpa went off to war, WWII. My dad was born after the war, there is about a 10 year age difference between him and his brother.




These are of my Grandma as a Youth, she looks so beautiful!




These are of my Grandma, her friend and my Uncle Mo


Saturday, August 29, 2009

I'm still around...

Well folks,

I have been feeling sort of icky for the past week or so, weak, blah... and uninspired. So my lack of blog entries is due to this reason.

The kids have been in school and my youngest son is doing just fine in second grade, not behind at all (go homeschooling!)

Yikes!! Roxie just put muscle rub on her legs and tummy and she's not too happy about the sensation...

Gotta go... I will try to put up a better post later.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Rethinking my Rethunking

Some of you, who shall remain nameless, Graham, seemed to think that the article that I posted was far to long...

Actually it was rather tedious for a blog post, so I cut out the article and left a URL link.

What I liked about it is the idea that you can improve whatever you want to if you have the passion and interest to do so. That the excuse that you don't have talent should not be a deterrent because if you are really interested in something then you can develop that even if you are not particularly gifted at it.

As for my day (which I am sure you are all dying to hear about)

We went to appointments, they were boring, someone made me mad by shifting the blame for something from them to me, I got over it. Sam and I made curry, a lot of it, then I went up to a parenting class (that is really for Sam but he keeps missing it, not that I am the best parent or anything...) Worked on writing technique, spent too much time doing nothing, paid a bill (to Angies hula teacher... which made her happy). Oh, and Sam got a job offer... but there are some difficulties to work out.

So all in all a good day, learned some thing, now I must sleep because I am driving myself insane at this hour of the night...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Going the Extra Mile

Yesterday was spent transferring photo's from my C drive over to an on-line storage medium and some of them back onto a jump drive (I need to transfer the rest of them in a bit). It was tedious but necessary since I am running out of space on that drive... darn old laptop.

I woke up this morning thinking about something.

I went into my sons middle school office last Wed. about 10 min. until 3 p.m. Most of the doors were locked except one, so I went inside to the office.

There I found a lady, well dressed, busy at something. I had these forms that I needed to turn in, exemptions for school fees, they were all ready except there were two that needed to be copied.

This lady's manner was of self importance, every word and action meant to put me in my place. She explained that they were not paid overtime and could not take the forms from me.

I could see their copy machine, right there, easily accessed. It would have taken about 1 min. to copy the papers. Yet she refused and what could I do, I was being civil.

The frustrating thing was that I had been waiting for weeks to get the car in order to go out to do my errands. I finally had a chance to get to the school to hand in the papers, and wasn't able to. Since I wasn't able to, my sons band teacher has been giving him 0's everyday for not having paid the instrument rental, and he has been pestering me about it.

At the time, I didn't think too much beyond the frustration of not being able to hand in the papers. But I was thinking this morning, how proud someone has to be in order to refuse such a simple request. I realise she seemed to be busy trying to finish something, but I am sure that at any other school (and in fact the elementary school that he came from) the lady in the office would have helped me.

Sure she felt justified, the other lady in the office had left and she had thought that the doors were not open, and of course, she wasn't paid overtime. Yet it nettles me, the attitude that she displayed, the power play.

In another context, were I a customer, this attitude would be terrible.

In any case, there has been nothing that I could do. I sent my son with the forms today and hopefully they will take them without too much trouble. I need to talk to his band teacher anyway to see if he will excuse the 0's.

So those are my frustrations for the day, easier to get them out here than to confront self important people (who could make things even more difficult) in their element.

SG

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Murder Mystery

I am reposting this for my friend Liz... ;D

Here's a fun (fun?) bit of history from my family. This is my Great Aunt Beulah and her husband "Tiny" Roy Frisbee. He is said to have murdered her. There is an inset photo of him, kinda looks different huh? Funny how people can appear to be different than they really are.


Here is another sad bit from my family tragedy's past, my grandma's baby sister Rose Afton died when she was only 2 or so. This is the only picture of her.

Kind of sad...

I guess applying for a job at a geneology company kind of got my gears going. I've been meaning to scan a bunch of pictures for my family but haven't done it (they have been sitting in a box in my baby's room for the past 3 years, my family is about ready to give up on me). So I think I will get to work, I have the scanner, and the time (for now). So I may as well do it.

(haha, note this was in Feb. and the job interview did not go over)

~Strawberry Girl

Bananas

Every single kid in my house needs to line up in the hallway and put their noses on the wall!!

I'm going banana's!

If they take me off to the funny farm in a straight jacket (you will all know why!).

SG

Future

Thank goodness for the change in scenery that going out with the girls the other day afforded me!!

I've been trying so hard to finish school and catch up that it has taken me a while to realize that I am already here... that I can pursue my interests without feeling obligated to some type of authority and that there is a wide range of things out there to do!

It is passing from the past and living in the present and allowing the possibilities to excite me again, it is learning how to play and enjoy things again. For too long I've lived with regret and done penance, now it is over, time to move on...

Our Future

our future
our future is hidden
among the vast forests of our soul
our future is waiting
among the depths of our own ocean
our future is yourself
you create your future
run through the forests
swim through your ocean
and you will find yourself
you
your future

Zia Jaycee May Trent

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/our-future-3/

Friday, August 21, 2009

Guess i'll get off my judgemental high horse now...

Yeah so the post of a couple of days ago... not so forgiving of human nature. It stems from this... my feeling of inadequacy.

I know that a lot of my struggles right now stem from my mistakes... mistakes of shortsightedness, marrying too young; mistakes of direction, in what to study (accounting which I believed would provide the most security if I needed to get a job, instead of English where I would have learned the skills that I need for writing), mistakes in laxity, in levity (not hanging around enough with my cousins and others).

I just feel so frustrated, that I went from this one really small choice as a young woman, that led to many many difficult choices that were not easy to deal with. I feel the sense of loss, for having to run to catch up... I've been running for so long. I miss people, hanging out, having fun with my cousins I really miss my cousins.

I went out with some of the ladies in my church (what we call a ward, the sisters in the Relief society) tonight for a send off for our good friend Sunny (who's blog I am linked to). It has been the first time that I have ever gone out with a group of women to chat and eat out together. I have been so isolated! First I was in school, had one kid after another and I have always been poor. I haven't been able to relate to or spend time with a lot people, it felt really good to finally know a group of ladies well enough to be able to go out together, and we all want to hang out together more!! I will be so happy if we do keep it up and happy to at least have planned doing something with Sunny when she gets back from England in December!

There is so much to value in life, I have been so caught up in surviving that I have lost track of somewhat of beauty and wonder. I have valued the beauty of the earth, the verdant green mountains, but my thoughts, exclamations of joy have been so confined. It has all seemed so soul less and pointless, I have felt so dead...

Sometimes life can be lonely... and sometimes good friends are right around the corner.

SG

I confess...

I confess to being too gloomy sometimes. I have reason, but gloominess, OI gotta get over it.

I wish...

that it was possible to clean my house with a two year old around (or do anything else for that matter) while my kids are in school.

that I could have some things like new couches, a nice rug in the living room (the carpet cleaners to come over), a bigger table (a bigger kitchen to put it in), and a nice back yard and garden (I can't do much back there right now).

I gotta clean house, it always feels good if I can get things back into order. Our couches are terrible though and there is not a thing to do but live with it.

I finished reading "Pride and Prejudice," funny that I've never read it. I'm going to read "Sense and Sensibility next." I really, really liked "Pride and Prejudice," in fact gleaned some good ideas...

Gotta stop being gloomy

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Upstanding Citizens

Today I had the occasion of sitting in a court house, awating to speak to the judge about something that I had no control over and still don't have any control over but which has been the primary source of antagonism in my life for the past year and a half... almost two years.

Actually this was the second case of the day, (different matters) the first one at 10 am the next at 2. Agravating the situation is the fact that they sent us to the wrong court room, we sat through a trial, then found that we were late to the court room that we were supposed to be in and had to sit through about 30 custody cases before being able to speak to the judge to tell him that we had been there all that time (before he issued a bench warrant).

So during the time from 2-3 while we were in the wrong court room I was pondering the lawyers and the arguments, the judge and the process and of course writing whatever I could that came to mind.

Some of what I was thinking is that I have always tended to shy away from argument, I hate it when people try to "read" other people and make judgements about them; in my quest to avoid judging others I also have found that I excuse others, don't get angry about things that I rightly should get angry about and subsequently get taken advantage of at times.

This tendancy has improved quite a bit without suffering from too judgemental an attitude, but still it has led me into situations (some that I am currently in) that have been very agravating, and if I would have judged correctly the people and situations that I was confronting things would be a lot less messy than they are now.

Another tendancy is my hatred of being the bad guy, of saying no, putting my foot down, forcing the issue. Perhaps I need to change that and be more unafraid to push the issues a bit more. Part of it has to do with (unfortunantly and I hate bringing this up) the tendancy of my own Mom to not push the issues about anything. Plus insecurity, not wanting to be in that uncomfortable position of being angry and/or dealing with others anger.

Another bit of thought today was the idea that for some reason society has turned against those who strive after excellence. They uphold idiocy, stupidity and find a great deal of humor in it all. I know the appeal, truely, yet I have to wonder about the world that we live in and how unfit people are becoming for critical thinking.

It is amusing to watch people being stupid, I suppose, there are many shows on TV that display peoples stupidity. To me though I feel a great sense of loss that there is so little enjoyment in, what used to be normal. Things like striving after the memorization of a great poem, the enjoyment of listening to someone perform a piece of piano music well, the enjoyment of intelligent conversation about the issues of life. These things used to be how people entertained each other while sitting around together at night.

I like thinking about things, writing stuff, talking to people... I wish there was someone to discuss it all with.

To this long post I'm going to add what I wrote in court.

Conjecture, supposition, clear headedness, arguement, blind judgement, is justice blind?

How much ignorance is there? How ignorant am I? Fit for the position, how much are we unfit? There is so much... Upstanding citizens, hard working, full of integrity, these citizens, these, are scorned for the heights they acheive. Shall I then fear to be upstanding? Shall I fear to lose friends and acquaintance? Who then shall I relate to? Who then shall I speak to?

Plus, as a closing thought (you can tell I have been thinking too much today can't you) people want those things that others have achieved, like success, brilliance, admiration and the houses and things and respect that have been earned by hard working citizens... yet they scorn those same people for their hard work, they scorn them as being snobby, arrogant, self important... when in reality who, if not these citizens, will be fit to lead, if everyone is caught up in the celebration of idiocy?

Interesting, that I have recieved this e-mail newsletter which starts out discussing these same issues, here is a link, (and just so you all know, I try to read both sides to the conservative/liberal argument because I am trying to be fair minded. And yes this is a highly conservative bent and could possibly offend someone, nevertheless they do make some good points)

(Omitting Link as it is no longer valid).

Snark, snore, wa?

Today, woke up

and yes from an odd dream yet I cannot recall the details... though it involves swimming around through the floors of the university that I went to... don't really know what that was about. Maybe we need to go visit the water park or something.

I spent the day chasing around errands and caught a few.

Ate curried chicken for dinner, yummy!!

Then went to a parenting class where we learned to validate our kids feelings... It was good because I sorted out some things, got some good ideas.

Wrote a new post on my writing bloggity blog, it is styled after the feelings created from reading Charles Dickons "A Tale of Two Cities." So, it is interesting...

Now I am sososososo tired, all I ask is that I don't wake up at 4 am, that R dosen't wet the bed (she sleeps with us, that was the day before last nights, keep me awake offense), that I don't have weird dreams about swimming around at the school comando like (with wet suits and all)... all I want is some sleep, sweet sleep.

(So, so much creative energy went into this post... really.)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

YAWN AGAIN

Ouch! I have been at the computer all day trying to compile a portfolio of my writing... it hurts to sit here all day but it is something that needed to be done.

My dears I am a poet... 84 poems over the last year or so that I have been blogging. They are all (almost all) quite unconventionally versed as well, interesting.

Last night was not so great either... and I had a weird dream don't know if I want to recall it.

Oi' ve!!

SG

Monday, August 17, 2009

YAWN!!

I couldn't sleep last night...

woke up at about 4 a.m. mind racing about all the stuff I should be doing (and as we all know sometimes the mind is illogical during the subconcious hours). No amount of argueing with myself could get my brain to shut off so that I could sleep.

So I am tired, but I got some stuff done I was a good girl.

I went to meet S's teacher, I like her, she's going to be a good one for him to have. I then went up to Wally world to buy some writing paper for S, the special kind that is spaced a bit further out. I will focus more on the kids this year, make sure they are getting their work done, everything will be OK... ;D (I am trying to get this into my subconscious so that it will leave me alone tonight)

Well, I am off, I gotta make some chicken soup... speaking of chickens I had an extremely happy moment today when I found a place that sells farm fresh eggs and such not too far from here!! The eggs are only $3.50 a dozen! (you may think that is expensive but it is far better than the $6.00 a dozen that they charge up at Real Foods. Farm fresh eggs simply cannot be beat, that is the long and short of it!)

Yawn... please let me sleep tonight, please...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Update (Or something like that anyway, I've kind of lost track of myself) ;D

Today is a good day, the sun is shining, I got enough sleep last night (super important) we got to church on time (someone check to see if we are in a parallel universe).

Chaos, and order, life seems to cycle through the two extremes. It seems to be either chaotic or ordered...

The kids start back to school on Wednesday, Sione among them, I enjoyed homeschooling him but I feel like he needs to be among his peers right now, he likes the other kids and the other kids like him. It makes him a bit more motivated to work on some of the things that he doesn't want to do, like handwriting, when he sees that everyone else is doing what he doesn't want to do. He's a funny guy... I love that little fellow.

On our way up to my moms house today we saw that there are a dozen or so people hang gliding up above Y mountain. My question is how did they all get to the top of the mountain in the first place, and are they all really that crazy??? (Well, actually I confess to a bit of envy, hang gliding sounds like a cool thing to do)

Anyhow, gotta go help shuck the corn for dinner (we are having Salmon, yummy!!)

SG

Friday, August 14, 2009

Watching Rugby With the Guys

Yesterday we went up to SLC for "Polynesian Days!!"

It was nice to get up there to support our local Rugby team the Provo Steelers. There were a few teams playing before them so I sat up on the bleachers with a good book and listened to the music that was playing in the background.

Baby Isi (or Tyler, er or Ongo, he has a few more names as well, I can't keep track of them all!) Anyhow, he was climbing about on the bleachers while his auntie Hone watched after him. He is the son of Isileli Sam's cousin, and Kalisi. Kalisi is the one who went up to Denver to try out for American Idol (didn't get past the screening judges though).

It was windy and rainy off and on, the wind liked to blow at us through the fence we were leaning on. Luckily these bleachers had a roof over them.

The Steelers won, 5-3, it was very close there at the end. They play again today and tomorrow.

After the game we (Me, Sam and Tane) went over to "Crazy Jim's Buffet." I don't know about you but just the sound of the place scared me a bit. We went in and paid $40 bucks! (Which I was not happy about)

The guy's piled up their plates 3 or 4 times with fried chicken, curried something or other, Taro root, fried clams and whatever else caught their fancy. I found myself confronted with an interesting dilemma, there wasn't much that wasn't covered in some type of sauce or another or fried in some type of batter (both serious concerns to someone trying to avoid gluten) so I ended up with the option of eating a few pieces of fruit and/or sea food.

I chose both, so I ate some cold (unsalted blech) shrimp, some warm shrimp (that I found later) with carrot slices in it, a few snow crab legs (without butter, it is just not the same), and a whole bunch of squid! Yes I was sitting there chomping on tentacles, I was rather amused at myself. I also had a bit of sushi, sweet potato and taro (covered in coconut milk). This place was eclectic, they even had some Mexican dishes.

For the most part it was filled to the brim with Chinese people, which seem to have a singular manner about them, that of avoiding looking at you, if at all possible. So it was interesting, standing there with an empty plate (waiting to be filled up with squid), listening to the tonal cadences of Chinese voices, and turning this way and that to avoid people who seem to be staring at the ground.

Well, I got full anyway (I think I still ate something off though, must have been the carrots). ;D

Afterwards we drove along in the dark listening to love songs from the 80's, which are interesting in their own right, and also such classics as Chers version of "Do You Believe in Life After Love?" Tane liked making fun of that one. It was mostly me and Tane singing, Sam, well he doesn't like to sing along to stuff (maybe it is because I tease him about it, I tell him he sounds like a dying cow, which he does, but maybe I should be more tactful. Perhaps I sound worse and don't even know it). ;D

Yesterday was definitely interesting, I love random excursions like that.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Seizing the Opportunity to Live

In some ways everything is in suspense, the still air around me, deceptive in its transparency, its calm, where has it ragged before now?

Life is moving forward despite everything, despite answers to some of the questions that I have about who I am, what I want to focus on in my life. I once thought that I knew where I was going and what I should do every day until the culmination of my faithful and fruitful life. I thought I had all of the answers before, but things have changed.

In many ways I am putting off doing normal things, in some ways it is more difficult to get to the cleaning and the laundry when there is this endless sense of suspended time.

But isn't this also what I have always wanted, a suspension of time to do nothing but read and think and be? Yes I admit to having made the wish in times past. In some ways it has come true and I am trying to take the opportunity for what it is.

Yet I find that some of the normal felicitous feelings of living have altered as well, the urgency to finish some project or other is not there, in a way I am adrift in the sea with no breeze to set me sailing towards my goal. I am paddling as all get out, but it feels a little pointless.

Yet I know time, and I know life, that it will change and this opportunity is never going to present itself in quite the same way again. So I must seize it with all that I have as the chance to make up for those little skills that I feel that I have never learned well enough, since I have been going full throttle at life, trying to stay afloat, ever since I was 16 and married so young.

Perhaps one day, all of what I have been grappling with and dealing with will culminate into understanding. As a once often read piece of prose extorts; stop getting ready to live and live your life, stop waiting for tomorrows and seize the day (this is the gist of it anyway).

Pleasant little day

It is a clear day outside, the kids weeded a section of our garden late last night in order to be able to wake up early this morning to walk up to their grandparents house, it is funner up there hanging around my little sister and her friends than down here where they more than likely will be asked to do some chore or other.

I am rereading the book "Mans Search For Meaning" by Vicktor Frankel. It is interesting to note his scientific observations on a terrible situation, that of being a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. I am starting to think that the reactions of all prisoners follows this sequence somewhat, of shock and antipathy, then of acceptance. I think in any situation where there is no control a certain amount of antipathy can occur.

Sam asked me to read this again to "help" him with his book report. I like thought provoking books but I kind of need a break from them, "A Tale of Two Cities" was thought provoking enough, then to start on another right off is a bit depressing (I had hopes to read "Pride and Prejudice" funny that I have never read any of the classic romances before, given that I have heard of them for so long).

Well, if I must I must!! ;D

What I would also need to do today is to get over to the library to check out a copy of "Writers Market" to see what types of articles or submittions I can make to publishers at this moment and what I could work on in the future.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

7 Years of Bad Luck, Oh Joy

Hi folks

My car will not turn on, it is up in Orem, stuck at Real Foods Market. There is something wrong with the ignition where you turn the key, it will not turn. We cannot even get it into neutral to tow it ourselves. So a real towing company must be called, to tow our car to wherever they will fix it, which will cost to tow and to fix, what little money we have in savings from our tax return.

I am wondering who broke the mirror to bring us 7 years of bad luck.

I am wondering if I asked to be tested like Job in the bible at some insane point in my life.

I am wondering if any of the 6 applications that I put in over the past week will give me a call.

As for right now, I am going to walk over to the kids school to register my son for second grade and hope that they don't shoot me because he is behind. (He reads just fine with me, but with brother, sister and daddy he stumbles).

If you want a nice post check out my other blog

http://creativelywritten.blogspot.com/

(Ah, at least we happen to have roadside assistance on our insurance policy, go Progressive!)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Kittie, kittie, kittie

I have some sad news on the kitten front, we had one of them die on Friday! R brought it upstairs and told me that the kittie was broken!

We also have a little black kittie who is getting weak and not eating. We are trying to give it milk to see if we can help it along, but we shall see. I would be really sad to lose this one because I love black kitties.

As for other news, I am still job hunting. I put in an application for two more jobs today and I am still looking for more to apply to. We shall see how it goes...

The kids will start back to school next Thursday which shall be nice, they are tired of being home. K is going to be a Junior High kid! That is going to be weird!

Here is a picture of said kitties when they were just born...

Sunday, August 9, 2009

More Thoughts on Health Care

Ok, so these are my fuzzy understandings of what has gone on in this country and in the world.

I have seen people who have magnanimously given of their resources to others and who have spent their lives in the service of others.

In fact I know of a lot of such people, one of whom is Jon Huntsman who came to speak to us at my graduation commencement and left us with a book about success. He and his wife had this theory as a young couple that they should give, not only 10% of their income to their church for charity but another portion of whatever they earned to charity, they believed in giving until it hurt. They continued this practice, not only through their struggling young married life, but further on into their years of success. They have donated countless amounts of money for cancer research and have travelled all over the world helping to build villages and bring water to families in Mexico, helping them restore their city after a devastating earthquake.

He is just one such example that I know of. There are a lot of people who spend their time serving others and trying to better others lifes.

Over the past 5 decades (or so, since WWII) we have seen a trend for people to become more materialistic, people have had this "I need more" attitude. More clothes, more food, more choices, more stuff, better stuff so much discontent and it is all producing waste.

The government made it easier for people to buy houses, so people bought houses. No money down, some times loans were made to people who didn't even have a job.

Well this increased the demand for houses, seeing the demand people flocked to the construction industry, people built houses, better houses, bigger houses, never ever enough for anyone! Impossible to afford unless you went for the deal of a loan for the down payment and a loan for the mortgage with the high variable interest rates of an ARM loan to make it worth (so it seemed) lenders while to loan out this money.

This was not only the deal with houses, but with cars, and with stuff (credit cards).

I hear about the theory of regulating all of this, but the deal wasn't lean regulation it was over regulation. It was trying to help the poor in the name of equity. If the market were allowed to run as a free market we wouldn't have had all of these loans being made, people in their self interest would have prevented these loans from being made. People would not have bought what they shouldn't have bought, people wouldn't have made what they shouldn't have made, landfills wouldn't have been filled with what shouldn't have been thrown away.

This is not to say that Republicans are right, democrats are wrong (in fact I don't like either political party). What I am saying is that I see problems. I see farmers being paid not to farm, big companies who have the ear of our government putting stuff in our food that gets people addicted to it (seriously). Lies being told, people getting sick, pharmacutical companies producing pills to cure all of our ills... and creating many, many more.

There is a different way, there is the way of being grateful for what we have, of eating what is natural on God's green earth, of working hard for things that you believe in, raising your family to be good and upright and to serve others.

If this is what the norm was in this country, all over the world, there would be far fewer people getting fat and sick because of what I think of as no care.

What we need is to care, to not let lawyers bring up frivolous lawsuits that raise the cost of health care. It cost me $25 frikin dollars for a multivitamin when I was in the hospital to have R that is 1 multivitamin!! Plus to be fair and square to all the nurses that worked there they rotated between the higher paid nurses and the lower paid nurses. Every hour they went from highest paid, to mid-level, to lower level nursing care when they hardly came into my room to say "boo" to me! Plus I got right up after having R and walked around, took care of myself got cleaned up and would have gone home, literally an hour after having her, but they kept me there for 12 hours.

It was my own initiative that kept the cost of having R down lower. I knew we didn't have insurance so I went out to find a cheaper option. I found a mid-wife didn't let them test for obscure minute possibility diseases, (I knew I didn't have diabetes I really, really ate healthy). I went to hypno-birthing classes, prepared and then (because its safer and cleaner) I went to the hospital, had her natural and saved a ton of money.

If you "give" everyone "health care" as is proposed, in an inefficient, care thee not for the cost way. Then there is no incentive for people to try and find cheaper options, thus inefficiency. When people forget how much it costs they are more likely to bring baby with the sniffles to the doctor every single time they get the sniffles. They don't care about losing weight because of the high cost of being overweight, they don't care if Johnny breaks his arm, thus the risk for people not caring about the cost of what they are doing will be transferred to every single one of us.

Did you like being tied to someone who didn't care about a project that you had to do in school? That is how I see it.

Yes I care about people, yes the cost of health care can be prohibitive, there are reasons for this. I think it is those reasons that should be explored. Not ignored and shoved under a collective rug.

I don't want to be forced to have health care, I don't want to force every body in America to pay for my problems, for my care thee not attitude. I want to care about my own fortunes, I don't have a lot of money, none in fact. But I would rather be free from the hindrance of a high tax burden, than chained to conglomerate government programs that encourage apathy.

That's what I think anyway, I know how much suffering there is out there, I hope I can help relieve it, and I hope to not be part of the problem...

and I know I cannot see the whole picture.

Healthcare Bill

I am posting this from my friends blog, I really hate the proposed health care reform bill! Just one more step towards socialism and I can't stand it! I love all you citizens of America, I want this nightmare to end of a messy health care system, but I think we all need to think long and hard before buying into something in a snap. Like we did with all of the bailouts, and our trust in the idea that we could buy a home (with no money down, and no job!! Yipee go me!). That kind of freewheeling spirit has gotten us all into a big mess. Plus I was rather annoyed at the president trying to tie in the possible recovery of the economy with passing his health care reform bill, so here we go, I oppose it, I don't believe him.

From my friend:

This email concerns the proposed health care bill which is being voted on in three weeks. This is not a stupid forward, 'cause my mom and I created it ourselves. I don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, black, white, orange, or purple-every single one of you is affected by this. Please view these links and brush up on page 136 of the bill. If you feel as scared as I do, send it to friends and ask them to write to their representatives. You won't regret doing so. If you don't, well, at least you know, right?

One of the most frightening things about the proposed health care bill is the assisted suicide clause, which says that counseling on how to forgo nutrition, fluids, and medication will be offered in place of care to chronically ill, critically ill, and elderly people. Basically if your health care costs outweigh your value as a citizen of the United States, they'll teach you how to put yourself to sleep.

Here are some video links. I know some of you have seen some of these before, but the vote for this bill happens at the end of the month! Please send the following to your contacts. Contact your government representatives and let them know we don't need this bill!

Hicksville, NY, protest and former Lt Gov:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vC3ENngYnlQ

Detroit protest:
Go to 3:20 on the following video (the rest is just enthusiastic people-watching):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiW8s-Vld88

Columbus, Ohio, protest (part II):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7-75RZuxIs

20/20 on USA health care reform and Canada's and UK's health care:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdx_2cuPgQQ

Fox on Health care:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO9L3oyQhQ8


Part of being an American is taking responsibility for your part of the decision making. As George Washington said of the Constitution, "...its only keepers, the people". It is time to take up our pens and to let our voices ring out. It is our sacred honor and duty.

Let's keep this country free!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

August

Today is a crisp August day, I cannot help but recall the feelings of fresh breezes through fevered mind that August has always brought to me, fresh, new, life. I feel as though I am a young student, getting ready for the new school year again, it is quite a different feeling than the frenzied pace of summer, the madness of winter, and the early awakening of spring, in fact I would go so far as to say that fall is my favorite time of year. For me there is a bit of longing in it too, longing for the girlhood friends that have lost their sense of life, who no longer will link their arms with mine to stroll barefooted down the sidewalk, around the block, or into the cool wet water of the river. I feel as though I would like to cry, to pull some felicitous compatriot out of the air and embrace her, sigh. Back to being sensible again, at least for now.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Evolutions, going on a mission!!

We ran up to my parents house this morning to wish my little brother E good luck on his mission. He's going up to Salt Lake to help in the Church's Family History Center. It still hasn't sunk in that he's going to be gone for two years! My older brother Jono is taking it really hard, though he is happy Eis going on his mission, E has been the one who was closest to him. JB is Autistic (oh, yeah, uh, JB means Jono Bonono... don't know why we call him that). It is hard for him to relate to people, but he has always seemed to relate to E.

I love Evolution so much!! (My brother, not the theory)

He's such a funny kid! But he needs to get out, grow, learn. We will write him, and hopefully he will write us back! (He's not to good about that, or I guess we shall see).

So here are the quick, last minute pictures that we took to send him off. His good suits were packed away, funny, I never got to see him wear one of them.




Thursday, August 6, 2009

MTC, and Missionary

Today I went up to the MTC with Sam to watch him do some translating from English to Tongan for the Tongan missionaries who are preparing to go out on their missions.

I wandered around with R a bit, who got sick of sitting there watching daddy translate, she went to the bathroom twice. We got creative and drew on the chalk board, talk about randomness! She was being a perfect parrot today, and when I put on my pantyhose, she found a pair (out of who knows what drawer) of my pantyhose and proceeded to put them on while giggling her head off at me. So when we were drawing on the chalkboard I was making swirls and squiggles and she was too (only hers looked better).

After that we went out to walk along the lovely grounds, they have a ton of flowers in their flower bed and R picked two of them before I could stop her. Of course, it was kind of my fault that she was tromping around in the flower beds because I was gazing up at the mountains as the clouds moved across the sky above them. The mountains are so green this year! It was a beautiful sight, plus there were dragonflies zooming around over head as well. So yeah, I had a lot of distraction.

Luckily for me R only found and destroyed two flowers (after admiring them lovingly she tore off their pedals).

After we got home I made us some soup, I guess I am big on soup lately. Then I worked on my studies for a bit.

Sadly, R found that the Runt kitten had died. I heard her squealing about it and she brought it up, laid it on the top of the stairs, then she came over and pointed it out to me telling me it was broken. I felt so sad to see it, poor little thing. It was strange but it just wouldn't eat, we tried to give it milk, but it didn't like that. I wrapped it up in some paper and threw it in the trash, sad.

I just came back from my little brother E's setting apart for his mission, up to SLC Church and Family center, where he will work with technology to help with genealogy and other computer related matters. E's a smart kid, he's going to do well on his mission.

We are going out to dinner now to celebrate.

I hope things are well for all you out there.

SG

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Meeting Up with a Grade School compadre'



Grade School :D

I lost track of most of these folks, but a couple of years ago met up with one of them again. I also met up with the sister of one of the girls in my class. She was in my ward a couple of years ago, I thought she was her younger sister but then found that it wasn't. I really like both of them, they are nice girls.

I am bringing this up because I was recently talking to my other grade school class mate, Brandon on Facebook, it is a funny story about how we met up again.

A few years ago, I was waiting in line at a subway sandwich shop near the university when Brandon walked in with his wife and baby daughter, his daughter is about 4 now so it has been about 4 years since this happened. He recognized me right off and I recognized him but couldn't recall his name. He had glasses in grade school so, I guess that's my excuse.

That is all well and good, it was nice to see him again and to meet his wife and baby. I lost track of everyone since I got married so young and they all have young families.

The next time I saw him I think was at the store, I mistook him for my brothers friend. It was funny because I was standing there racking my brain to think of what his name was again, duh!! I was like "I know you from somewhere... are you my brothers friend? He just grinned about that and was really nice to go along with my brain lapse, until I figured out it was him.

After that I went home really embarrassed for being such a dork, really embarrassed, I thought about calling him up to apologize but felt like an idiot.

So luckily for me, he found me on Facebook. I was able to say sorry in a far less... uh embarrassing way, and he was good about it.

He is a pilot now, which I think is cool, and he has a beautiful family with two little girls and a little boy on the way!

I haven't talked much with him though, I usually don't do too much on Facebook, but I was on there Monday looking up the Anita Stansfield fan club (yeah!! I am a nerd) and he popped up a chat to say hi.

I talked to him again today to learn that no, in elementary school not everyone hated me like I thought, some people actually thought well of me.

Grade school is fuzzy to me, partially because it was so long ago and partially because my mind was foggy from Celiacs disease. I was really in my own world in Grade school, the girls were very "clicky" and didn't like me. The boys, well, I remember them vaguely.

I remember thinking that Brandon was really smart, and I knew he was shy but I didn't think about it too much. Thomas, who later asked me out, was kind of mean to me. Tim, Adam, Darwin and Jonathan were mean to me as well (I am looking at my class picture here). I remember Jeremy but not too well. Then there was Ben and Russ, they were in my ward (church) oooo, they made me mad! They picked on me everywhere I went, I know they didn't like me.

Brandon asked me if I remember when our teachers tried to get us to square dance, oh yes I remember that. It was in the school gym (er, lunchroom?), the teachers lined everyone up demonstrated the steps with a couple of the kids, then turned on the square dance music as they called out "Swing your partner, do si do, up to the left and off we go." They had two lines of students facing each other, girls on one side, boys on the other. They had us hold hands and dance down the line, trading partners. I remember dancing with Brandon, & Thomas for the most part I remember all of those darn boys teasing me. So when I got paired up with Brandon and he wouldn't hold my hand it made me mad! I grabbed his hand and made him dance.

Square dancing, haven't done that for a long time, I don't know if I ever have square danced again. Tongans, sort of shake and clap, a really boring thing to do. I always wished that I could learn how to dance for real but that never happened. (It's on the list of stuff to learn) ;D

SG

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Not Much Going on Today... ;D

Well, I got up and exercised today... walked up to mom's and back (and I took off my shoes to run around in their back lawn... cause' they have a large plot of land and why not?)

Today, has been, eh... alright I guess.

I made some soup for lunch, chicken stock, potato skins, celery, celtic sea salt, Chickpea Miso, and garlic... it was very yummy!! (and balances your minerals as well)

The kids want to go up to moms, so they are bugging me... I guess I will oblige the critters!

8/4/2009

I was watching a television show about cuttlefish, people like to eat cuttlefish, cuttlefish hide through the use of camoflouge, scientists have found a new type of cuttlefish one that does not hide but boldly shows off its colors and goes where ever it wants to go. Thus they theorized that this cuttlefish had evolved into a new type of cuttlefish, a poisinous cuttlefish...

They were talking about a lot of different fish that had "evolved."

I thought to myself, rich, viberant earth!! So full of life, so full of creation and beauty. Why does it have to be that it is all by chance that things change and evolve? Why does evolution have to rule out the existance of God? When I studied the stars in Astronomy, the way that everything changes and revolves it all seems ordered to me, not chaotic! Even on a logic basis as a human being, can I conciously choose to discard one of my toes or change the color of my hair? But no you say, you can choose who you reproduce with and that changes quite a bit about the next generation. Can't argue with that, yet I still cannot believe that there is no creator, I have seen so much of fate and I have had guidance in my life people step in at the right moment, things change, and all that I thought could never be better eventually does become right. How incredulous I am about the idea that

Monday, August 3, 2009

Oh My Father

Why is it that the hearts keenest cry is a yearning for a greater power when all else has failed?

I have not wanted to work, to leave my two year old though I know people do it all the time. I believe that children need their mother, they need her even when they are in school they need her, especially the littlest ones.

I remember when I was in school, school was a struggle I had to leave my babies to be in class and to work on my homework. I remember my young son, how it hurt to leave him at a daycare to go to class. My heart broke and I would wake up with tears in my eyes that I had to do it.

But I did, I sacrificed a lot for school and in some ways it now seems a misguided effort since I don't really want to do accounting. I would be alright in an accounts receivable or payable department but I do get bored of the work and I would be dreaming of writing and being with my kids.

There too, I feel a bit bad that although I am with them I have not done very much with them this year. My time has not really been my own since I have had to focus on other things. I have a hard time relaxing when there is something on my mind, I push and push on it even when I am getting no where.

This morning, things have been hitting me more keenly... I know there is something for me to do, I can go to the church employment center and work on interviewing and career skills, I will. Yet I cannot help think that this is all so wrong, though I know in my heart that the Lord has been teaching me, it is still hard, very hard.

I also know that I am not the best professional out there, I am grateful for the things people do for me, yet I often don't know how to thank them or what to do.

I just need to try I guess, I hope you all don't think I am foolish for all of my weakness.

SG

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Sacred Sundays

Today has been a good day, I got a good nights sleep, got up in time to get stuff done before church, got ready in time (pretty much, we always seem to be late) and there were a lot of people today that we knew from when we first moved into the ward. Our first bishop in this ward was here with his family to see his brothers baby get blessed. His brother Jason his wife Sunny are moving to England in a month! We are going to miss them a lot, Sunny and I still need to get over to the park together with the kids (and soon). ;D

My good friend Peggy was here as well for the blessing and she introduced us to her newly (or about to be) adopted daughter, and her two brothers! I am so happy for Peggy, she is a wonderful nurturing lady who has gone through quite a few struggles in her life (including a battle with alcoholism, she is so open about it and inspiring). She also has trouble with her feet and has had quite a few surgeries on them.

Our lesson today in Sunday School was teriffic as well, very uplifting. In relief society our RS president spoke to us and everyone contributed nice comments to the lesson. I got through leading both songs nicely (yeah for me!) The last song "Carry On" fit perfectly with the lesson. This song means a lot to me and I love singing it (though there was a lady on the front row who kept getting me off key, Oi').

Favorite part about it is that it starts out singing about the mountains, I so relate to firm mountains... the mountains have been there every day of my life (almost).

Ah, and I guess I will make a blog announcement (as my sister is in on this as well). I made a blog (called "Pie in the Sky") as a place to be silly, with my family as contributors. ;D

(...I just read an article about running barefooted, I think I will try it) ;p

SG

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Finally, my own bed...

I finally have a bed!!

I have not had a bed for almost 6 months now, I have been sleeping on my daughters lower bunk with Roxie. All this because of bed bugs, it has been a long nightmare.

Long story.

We got a couple hundred dollars from a little job Sam went to help with and there is a lot of stuff I could have used it for but this was important! So I went up to IKEA today, bought a bed frame, then got it home to put it together. I got the frame together and found that I hadn't bought the middle bar, so I had to go all the way back up to the store to get it. I hadn't gotten the wooden slats either but I refused to spend $40 dollars on them so I just got some lumber from the hardware store and had Sam cut it to length.

It is actually a better bed than the last which was a bed frame without a headboard, now I have a headboard, and I am happy/relieved... now I am going to go get some rest! ;D

SG

Wool Gathering

I am at this place right now, where I want to gather and assess everything that has gone on in the past little while. I have been blogging for almost a year now, and it has been rewarding for me, I have learned a lot and grown a lot from the daily excersise of trying to convey to the world what you are doing.

Blogging is a good thing, yet sometimes there is an unspoken (and really an imagined) pressure to entertain everyone, and sometimes I am just not that entertaining. In fact I can be just down right awful sometimes, yet still want attention because that is human nature.

I'm attempting to transfer all of my blog posts over to a word document so that they are easier to look at all at once, plus I need to save them somehow without the fear of blogger going kapoot and losing all of those moments from my life. So that is going to be a bit tedious, I have tried to do it before but got tired of it. I think the easiest way to do it is to hit delete by the post that you want to transfer, and a nice little screen pops up with "are you sure you want to delete this?" from which it is easier to copy and paste over to Word. (Of course being careful not to really delete it and all).

This will help me figure out as well the topics that I might do well writing about for a newspaper article or magazine. I read about the method that writers start attempting to get published and that is usually what they do, pick topics and start sending out queries. I will borrow "The Writers Market" from the library to avoid the need to buy it (which I did at one point, many years ago, it became a nice paper weight). I figure that I need to start somewhere, and what I have is a start so I had better use what is already there.

I hope to make the rounds on visiting your blogs a bit later on... ;D

SG