First published 7/25/10
I am an idealist, which is difficult at this point in time. Why? Because it is so hard to live the ideal.
Ideally, I should still be married. My kids should have a stable, normal home. I should be there for them instead of working...
Yet I live in the land of reality where normalcy has been redefined, my son Sione is often gone to his fathers home and I am often not there for my kids physically or emotionally.
Ideally, I should move from this place, the landlord doesn't give a care for this duplex and has let it go down bad.
But in reality, I am stuck here, I don't earn enough money at what I am doing which is in some ways a self inflicted fate and in some a reflection of the economy.
Self inflicted because when I went to school I chose to have another baby instead of going into the workforce and thus I haven't gotten the experience that I need to have to make more money.
A reflection of the economy because jobs are simply scarce.
and so I deal with reality...
Fighting for Freedom - The reality of it is that we are being shanghaied into socialism, yet isn't it all of our responsibility to avoid government programs, avoid creating the need....?
Yet reality says otherwise, I cannot afford to pay for health insurance... it is as simple as that. I am now eligible for it but it will cost me $200 dollars a month that I don't have, if I put the premium on my credit card I would still end up paying for it plus interest at some point probably when I receive a tax return? How ironic!
Could I get the government to pay for my premiums? Perhaps
Could I get the government to pay for my housing? Yes
Could the government give me all this and would it be fair? Yes, Yes, Yes and NO!
How ironic that I am now faced with this reality!
That the very programs that I abhor and am fighting are the programs that I am forced to turn to!
Yet I still have a will, I can still fight this
But through the sacrifice of time with my kids, study of Excel to improve my job skills... yes but from the time with my kids... another job, yes... but it will take from the time with my kids...
Yet it is all I can do for idealism isn't it? Ideally I would stay with them, feed them healthy food and knowledge...
Ideally....
I hope I'm doing the right thing
I am an idealist, which is difficult at this point in time. Why? Because it is so hard to live the ideal.
Ideally, I should still be married. My kids should have a stable, normal home. I should be there for them instead of working...
Yet I live in the land of reality where normalcy has been redefined, my son Sione is often gone to his fathers home and I am often not there for my kids physically or emotionally.
Ideally, I should move from this place, the landlord doesn't give a care for this duplex and has let it go down bad.
But in reality, I am stuck here, I don't earn enough money at what I am doing which is in some ways a self inflicted fate and in some a reflection of the economy.
Self inflicted because when I went to school I chose to have another baby instead of going into the workforce and thus I haven't gotten the experience that I need to have to make more money.
A reflection of the economy because jobs are simply scarce.
and so I deal with reality...
Fighting for Freedom - The reality of it is that we are being shanghaied into socialism, yet isn't it all of our responsibility to avoid government programs, avoid creating the need....?
Yet reality says otherwise, I cannot afford to pay for health insurance... it is as simple as that. I am now eligible for it but it will cost me $200 dollars a month that I don't have, if I put the premium on my credit card I would still end up paying for it plus interest at some point probably when I receive a tax return? How ironic!
Could I get the government to pay for my premiums? Perhaps
Could I get the government to pay for my housing? Yes
Could the government give me all this and would it be fair? Yes, Yes, Yes and NO!
How ironic that I am now faced with this reality!
That the very programs that I abhor and am fighting are the programs that I am forced to turn to!
Yet I still have a will, I can still fight this
But through the sacrifice of time with my kids, study of Excel to improve my job skills... yes but from the time with my kids... another job, yes... but it will take from the time with my kids...
Yet it is all I can do for idealism isn't it? Ideally I would stay with them, feed them healthy food and knowledge...
Ideally....
I hope I'm doing the right thing
No comments:
Post a Comment