Again I find my head full of things I wish I could say to my kids but I don't feel that it is the right time. It never seems to be the right time and they never seem to be in the right state of mind. I would rather not speak than to sound preachy which is something I tend to do when I talk to them.
I'm going through the process of defining my strengths and adopting a more positive attitude towards work and life. It is really easy to slip into negativity, especially when you don't feel good or you've had a hard day. Also it is easy to feel resentment towards other people at work if you feel like you have been passed by for a promotion or recognition. I've been in that frustrating mindset too often, it is a continual battle to be positive in the day to day grind, it is very easy for me to slip into a passive mode where I feel like I just need to put in my time and go home.
I want my kids to know that boredom with life is something to fight. Finding little bits of time to work on things that you like to do is important. It gives some meaning to life that you are developing your talents and enjoying life but that cannot be all there is to life, there is much more.
There is something in my character that abhors the wanton waste of things; of time, of talent, of people. I dislike mean spirited conversation, though sometimes I've caught myself in the middle of such. I feel like we are better off discussing things in an open and taciturn way, but not in a mocking or griping way, there is a balance and it is hard to achieve.
I believe in using the things we are given and not asking for more, coveting if you will, what we don't have.
I listened to a TED talk today by Emily Esfahani Smith titled, "There's More To Life Than Being Happy." She describes some things that we should seek beyond happiness, to seek meaning vs. happiness.
That there are 4 Pillars of a meaningful life:
1 Belonging - which comes from being in relationships where you are valued for who you are intrinsically and where you value others as well. Leading with love creates a bond that lifts each of you up.
2 Purpose - using your strengths to serve others. Purpose gives you something to live for, some why that drives you forward.
3 Transcendence - states where you are lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life. Your sense of self fades away and you are connected to a higher reality.
4 Story telling, the story you tell yourself about yourself. We are the authors of our stories and can change the way we are telling them. Your life is not just a list of events, you can edit, interpret and retell your story even as you are constrained by the facts. People leading meaningful lives tend to tell stories about their lives defined by redemption, growth and love. You can change your story by reflecting on your life thoughtfully. How your defining experiences shaped you, what you lost, what you gained. Changing your story won't happen over night it can take years and be painful. Embracing those painful memories can lead to new insights and wisdom, to find that 'good' that sustains you.
Emily then goes on to describe how her life was filled with the 4 pillars of meaning as a child through her parents practice of Sufism which "is the selfless experiencing and actualization of the Truth. The practice of Sufism is the intention to go towards the Truth, by means of love and devotion. This is called the tarigat, the spiritual path or way towards God. The sufi is one who is a lover of Truth, who by means of love and devotion moves towards the Truth, towards the perfection which all are truly seeking."
This is a practice that I am unfamiliar with as an organization but which sounds like something I want to know more about since I love learning about different ideas.
Emily's talk rang very true to me. I used to look up at the darkening sky and find the first star. Then my wish was always to be happy. I felt like it was a goal, a state of being that I could achieve if only I incorporated the right ingredients into my life. And yes it was an elusive goal that left me feeling more depressed as it seemed so unattainable.
It is better to make peace with life, to admit that you have limitations but to seek to use what you do have to achieve the greatest effect. I dislike the idea of searching for "meaning" as an endless quest to find out "why things are as they are," but rather I find that the idea of searching for meaning is to seek to do meaningful things, to be involved and engaged with the people around you, which can take great effort.
As an introvert, being involved and engaged can take a lot of energy. So I acknowledge that limitation in myself, and am forthright in letting other people know that I need time to recharge. It means engaging when I can and being as positive as I can in my engagement with others. Because really, there is so little time and so much to gain from learning about others and being thoughtful towards them.
Well this has about wiped me out for the night. I've stayed up too late again and disengaged a bit to spend this time writing my thoughts down. Someday I hope that I can share my thoughts with my children. If I never find the time to speak them out loud to them, then may they find my words later on and find wisdom in them.
SG
I'm going through the process of defining my strengths and adopting a more positive attitude towards work and life. It is really easy to slip into negativity, especially when you don't feel good or you've had a hard day. Also it is easy to feel resentment towards other people at work if you feel like you have been passed by for a promotion or recognition. I've been in that frustrating mindset too often, it is a continual battle to be positive in the day to day grind, it is very easy for me to slip into a passive mode where I feel like I just need to put in my time and go home.
I want my kids to know that boredom with life is something to fight. Finding little bits of time to work on things that you like to do is important. It gives some meaning to life that you are developing your talents and enjoying life but that cannot be all there is to life, there is much more.
There is something in my character that abhors the wanton waste of things; of time, of talent, of people. I dislike mean spirited conversation, though sometimes I've caught myself in the middle of such. I feel like we are better off discussing things in an open and taciturn way, but not in a mocking or griping way, there is a balance and it is hard to achieve.
I believe in using the things we are given and not asking for more, coveting if you will, what we don't have.
I listened to a TED talk today by Emily Esfahani Smith titled, "There's More To Life Than Being Happy." She describes some things that we should seek beyond happiness, to seek meaning vs. happiness.
That there are 4 Pillars of a meaningful life:
1 Belonging - which comes from being in relationships where you are valued for who you are intrinsically and where you value others as well. Leading with love creates a bond that lifts each of you up.
2 Purpose - using your strengths to serve others. Purpose gives you something to live for, some why that drives you forward.
3 Transcendence - states where you are lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life. Your sense of self fades away and you are connected to a higher reality.
4 Story telling, the story you tell yourself about yourself. We are the authors of our stories and can change the way we are telling them. Your life is not just a list of events, you can edit, interpret and retell your story even as you are constrained by the facts. People leading meaningful lives tend to tell stories about their lives defined by redemption, growth and love. You can change your story by reflecting on your life thoughtfully. How your defining experiences shaped you, what you lost, what you gained. Changing your story won't happen over night it can take years and be painful. Embracing those painful memories can lead to new insights and wisdom, to find that 'good' that sustains you.
Emily then goes on to describe how her life was filled with the 4 pillars of meaning as a child through her parents practice of Sufism which "is the selfless experiencing and actualization of the Truth. The practice of Sufism is the intention to go towards the Truth, by means of love and devotion. This is called the tarigat, the spiritual path or way towards God. The sufi is one who is a lover of Truth, who by means of love and devotion moves towards the Truth, towards the perfection which all are truly seeking."
This is a practice that I am unfamiliar with as an organization but which sounds like something I want to know more about since I love learning about different ideas.
Emily's talk rang very true to me. I used to look up at the darkening sky and find the first star. Then my wish was always to be happy. I felt like it was a goal, a state of being that I could achieve if only I incorporated the right ingredients into my life. And yes it was an elusive goal that left me feeling more depressed as it seemed so unattainable.
It is better to make peace with life, to admit that you have limitations but to seek to use what you do have to achieve the greatest effect. I dislike the idea of searching for "meaning" as an endless quest to find out "why things are as they are," but rather I find that the idea of searching for meaning is to seek to do meaningful things, to be involved and engaged with the people around you, which can take great effort.
As an introvert, being involved and engaged can take a lot of energy. So I acknowledge that limitation in myself, and am forthright in letting other people know that I need time to recharge. It means engaging when I can and being as positive as I can in my engagement with others. Because really, there is so little time and so much to gain from learning about others and being thoughtful towards them.
Well this has about wiped me out for the night. I've stayed up too late again and disengaged a bit to spend this time writing my thoughts down. Someday I hope that I can share my thoughts with my children. If I never find the time to speak them out loud to them, then may they find my words later on and find wisdom in them.
SG
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