During my DV Support group today I was paging through the binder that they had me buy and found a poem that say's just what I have wanted to say about "Listening" without knowing how to say it...
Listen
When I ask you to listen to
me and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen,
Not talk or do--just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and
Billy Graham in the same newspaper
And I can do for myself, I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince
you and can get about the business of understanding what's
behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's
behind them.
Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people
because God is mute, and He doesn't give advice or
try to fix things. "They" just listen and let you
work it out for yourself.
So, please listen and just hear me. And, if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn, and I'll listen to you.
~Anonymous
Listen
When I ask you to listen to
me and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen,
Not talk or do--just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and
Billy Graham in the same newspaper
And I can do for myself, I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince
you and can get about the business of understanding what's
behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's
behind them.
Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people
because God is mute, and He doesn't give advice or
try to fix things. "They" just listen and let you
work it out for yourself.
So, please listen and just hear me. And, if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn, and I'll listen to you.
~Anonymous
3 comments:
A wonderful poem, very enjoyable to read. The message came across. well done.
Yvonne.
That's a beautiful poem. Congratulations on being in a DV support group, I hope they help (and are good listeners). If you need another listener I'm here, and I'll do my best to not give advise ;)
Thank You for stopping by Yvonne, I'm always happy to read from you. :)
Thanks for the support Susan! Love ya' Cousin! ;)
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