Hopeless Hopes

I'm always a bit intimidated by the top of this blog screen, so open for interpretation, blank. Sometimes I feel that my mind is like that, devoid of meaningful thought. I guess that I just don't know what to want out of this life. I wanted a house with a yard, a little garden, perhaps a stream, I wanted an "eternal family", I wanted a priesthood holder. I thought these are the things that will bring happiness, church and family. I am stuck in a kind of miasma, I had to go look up that word to see if it fit... I guess it sort of does "bad air causing disease... or a specious cause of chronic disease." Well if not thriving in these conditions then yes, I suppose the word does fit. I suppose part of the problem is that I've hoped for too much, I've felt that if I worked hard enough then I could have what I wanted. I felt that my asks were small, yet now it seems as if I asked too much.

SG