All of my life I have believed in the potential of learning. I would stack books up with the intention of reading each weighty tome. The thought was that if I could just read enough then I would understand how to interact with people and that would make me acceptable to others in society.
When I viewed my stack of books as a little girl, I had a certain kind of hope that they would cure me of my ignorance. It was only the ones that I opened, along with the risks that I have taken out in the world that have opened me up to the learning that I knew I could find.
I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
. She has helped me to have a new perspective on the creative process. In a way my stacks of books were barriers to engaging with the world, hiding behind what I thought I needed to have in order to be admitted into the club of life. I see now that I can dedicate myself to the pursuit of the things I love despite my imperfections.
For instance in my dream to become a writer I have had a fear that I won't be able to create character dialogue, because I don't get out and talk to many people. I think now that if I show up and put in the hours to develop the craft, then I will get better at it.
I have looked at life through a narrow lens because it has been difficult for me to interact with other people. Somewhat shy as a child, but more fearful and ignorant than anything, and so sensitive (I thought people were talking behind my back all the time), I just didn't understand what motivated others to think and act the way that they did.
Now with the benefit of hindsight I can see that perhaps those children were not as awful to me as I thought, I just didn't have the skills to interact with them.
Knowledge can only truly be acquired through firsthand experience and thought. As I have lived and gained experience, the thoughts and understanding of other people enrich my understanding. But only when I am engaging with others in activity. I have to purposefully do the things that I am scared to do, purposefully push past my fears and discomfort, and try things even though I am not good at them. I have to be present in my life even when I am failing, live and sit with discomfort until I understand what it is and how I can move forward even when I think I have failed and that I am no good.
Learning requires these things of us. Learning requires faith.
Faith is a principle of activity in the present, in order to bring forth a hoped for future. It cannot be exercised on past events, they have already passed, faith can only be exercised on future events.
So now, I am going to have faith in myself that I will engage with life, and participate in the creative endeavors that have brought me so much joy in the past. Not out of some hope of becoming wildly successful and famous but out of a need to create.
Go out there and learn. Dream big, do things that bring you joy. Magic.
SG
When I viewed my stack of books as a little girl, I had a certain kind of hope that they would cure me of my ignorance. It was only the ones that I opened, along with the risks that I have taken out in the world that have opened me up to the learning that I knew I could find.
I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
. She has helped me to have a new perspective on the creative process. In a way my stacks of books were barriers to engaging with the world, hiding behind what I thought I needed to have in order to be admitted into the club of life. I see now that I can dedicate myself to the pursuit of the things I love despite my imperfections.For instance in my dream to become a writer I have had a fear that I won't be able to create character dialogue, because I don't get out and talk to many people. I think now that if I show up and put in the hours to develop the craft, then I will get better at it.
I have looked at life through a narrow lens because it has been difficult for me to interact with other people. Somewhat shy as a child, but more fearful and ignorant than anything, and so sensitive (I thought people were talking behind my back all the time), I just didn't understand what motivated others to think and act the way that they did.
Now with the benefit of hindsight I can see that perhaps those children were not as awful to me as I thought, I just didn't have the skills to interact with them.
Learning requires these things of us. Learning requires faith.
Faith is a principle of activity in the present, in order to bring forth a hoped for future. It cannot be exercised on past events, they have already passed, faith can only be exercised on future events.
So now, I am going to have faith in myself that I will engage with life, and participate in the creative endeavors that have brought me so much joy in the past. Not out of some hope of becoming wildly successful and famous but out of a need to create.
Go out there and learn. Dream big, do things that bring you joy. Magic.
SG
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