The Name of The Wind

I was deeply touched the other day by a piece of writing by Patrick Roffuss a section of the book "The Name of the Wind" where the main character was facing the destruction of his entire family by an unknown enemy.

Sometimes I can go a long time without feeling deeply, emotions are inconvenient, they make it harder to concentrate. But emotions can build up if we don't have an outlet for them and become destructive to our well being.

What can be done to prevent shutting down emotionally? I write things down. My mind is always churning with ideas. Sometimes there are things that I am frustrated about, sometimes I really want to express my thoughts to someone but I don't have someone readily available so it goes into writing until I can discuss it.

Stories have a power to reach a part of peoples psyche that is sometimes difficult to reach. We have become so guarded these days, closed off from each other, I think that part of the reason is that we don't spend enough time interacting with people in real life. It turns conversations with others into stiff encounters because we don't have the time to really talk.

The only relief that I have found form this lonely existence is through good literature, and then not every interesting story is one that gets past my guarded barriers.

I was listening to "The Name of The Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss and heard this passage. "I hope they spent those last few hours well. I hope they didn't waste them on mindless tasks: kindling the evening fire and cutting vegetables for dinner. I hope they sang together, as they so often did. I hope they retired to our wagon and spent time in each other's arms. I hope they lay near each other afterward and spoke softly of small things. I hope they were together, busy with loving each other, until the end came. It is a small hope, and pointless really. They are just as dead either way. Still, I hope."

Here is where my heart was touched and I found myself crying, open to the pathos of that scene.

The other thing that really helps me to break out of a long closed off emotional spell is music. Patrick and I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody when it came out, even though I had known a little bit about Freddy Mercury I didn't know a whole lot. I found myself crying near the end and left feeling like I knew the man a little. Today I've been listening to the Carpenters, I can't hear Karen sing without my heart opening and tears flowing. There are many songs, hymns, that make me cry. I turn to them when things seem bleak and I can't find anything else to take my mind off of my situation.

Sometimes talking through things helps. For me it's hard to know what to say. I hate to draw attention to myself.

For now I am happy enough, I've come to a place in my life where things are pretty good. It sure feels good though to feel something pure and sweet, a reminder of simpler times. That's why I love books and music.

SG