Got a Second Interview...

Well, that went, hmm. I would like to say it went well, but I will say it went well enough. I am supposed to be getting a call for a second interview, hopefully they can reach me because my husband stole my cell phone (his broke) and I almost didn't get the call into this interview because of it. Luckily they called the other number (our home phone) and I just happened to get to the phone on time. When I got over to the interview (on time) I waited for an hour because of some communication error. That's ok, I sat and read a magazine (which I like to do but usually have to much to do otherwise). He asked regular interview questions; what do you know about the company? Give me an instance where you had to resolve a conflict with your supervisor, (just writing them down right now because I know I need to work on them), give me an instance where you had to pursuade someone to investigate a product. What made you apply here? (I need a job, what other reason is there :0) I didn't say that). What do you hope to achieve at this company?

Golly, I don't know, I hope to have a stable job with the opporunity for advancement. I did ask him a question, I am not sure if it was a good one, I asked how well the company is doing in this economic climate. He said they are doing better than expected, by 3%. I am not sure what else to ask.

I know that for this next interview I need to do a bit of research and give it a bit more thought.

I am also grappling with the terrible saddness of having to leave my 2 year old to other care. I haven't been away from her much, I have fed her wholesome foods from the time she was born and I was thinking about if I left her with our neighbor, how she would probably eat macaroni and cheese and/or hotdogs (don't make me gag). Of course there is the excuse of gluten intolerance, the only clues that I have that she might have a problem is that her skin breaks out, she get's diarrhea, and stomach aches, when I let her eat wheat products. Or is it something else? I couldn't sleep very well last night thinking about this situation and I was trying to think of another way, but I know that even if I worked at home it would be terrible for me and her to have a pile of stuff I had to do and no time to pay attention to her. Or, like my cousin, who does work for Ancestry.com at home; she has to have total silence (or near to it) so that people don't know that she is at home. That won't work for a two year old.

I wish I had another option, that I could close my eyes and stay at home and let what come, may come. But I know that my husband owes a lot of money to his suppliers (it still rankles me that this happened) and there is not a ton of work for him to do anyway. He has had some calls for bids, but not a lot and people are really stingy right now. He also is supposed to have something coming up in March, but the situation there is that he and his brother will supply the labor and the General contractor will keep track of costs. I'm not sure how much he will get from this arrangement. Grrr.

I keep thinking about how lucky people are who get to be at home with their kids. Going for walks, gardening together, being together. But then, there is something to be said for having structure. It's hard to keep on track when there are no deadlines (unless artificially applied). That's why having an endless life, might not be the best thing, you might not ever get around to doing things, because you have forever to do it. (I have been struggling with this, since I have been bred to have deadlines from school work and such). So I don't know, maybe it's a blessing (though a tough one to accept) to have to go to work. I am still crying whenever I think of what my baby is going to have to adjust to. Plus I feel like a failure with my homeschooling efforts, I have been completely boring. For one thing, we never got over to the library as regularly as I would have liked, for another we haven't had any money to sign up for the many classes for homeschoolers available in our area. Plus I wish I was a more structured and fun parent. I know that if I got up earlier and got things done, then devoted my time to reading and playing around with my kids then things would be funner for them. I usually end up sleeping late (because my baby gets to bed late), not getting things clean (because my husband is home and watching game shows, because there is no work), not getting my exercise done (until almost noon), not getting a bath until after I exercise. Then I am not available to my son, who I am supposed to be devoting my time to for homeschooling, and I am not available to my daughter (well actually she's grumpy because we haven't been able to go on our regular walks). I just end up feeling guilty all of the time.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. That's what's going on in my world, thank you all for the good wishes.

~Strawberry Girl