Wednesday, December 9, 2009

How we do it

What is it that defines success in today's world? Status symbols, security

I could go for a bit of security just now

It seems that in today's world beauty and youth symbolize success, how fleeting

How incredibly ironic

It feels as if I am in a race, trying to churn out the talent that I need in order to land a job, anywhere

and I am here, with my daughter, age 3

She's the smartest little thing, constantly saying new things, things that make me realize how much she really knows.

My other kids, they work so hard, they are so sincere

But I fear

Fear that the world with its message of amusing stupidity will send them down a path that they will struggle to recover from.

Can they afford to lose these years in a cocoon of ignorance?

Yes I fear

I talk to them, I sincerely am trying to emphasis how much they need to know

but it is hard for them to grasp that isn't it?

I have to just sigh, and relax a bit, live life

and hope

That this world will be a little kinder to them then it has been to me

But then, my future stands to be good as well

I've learned the reasons, the modus operandi of life

Will it be enough? Well I hope so

On a more concrete level,

I'm trying to buy a little Honda Accord that our neighbors are selling, is it a fantastic car? Well at least the parts are cheap, at least I will have something to get me and the kids around, I won't be walking everywhere. It can be slightly dangerous in this winter weather to drive such a small vehicle but still, it's better than nothing.

Trying to pay off debt, luckily I will scrape by without too much damage to control in the debt department... a few thousand on a credit card (um, I didn't put it there) and a slight college loan (under a thousand). The only danger zone here is the Yukon which, well I didn't want this car in the first place because it's a gas hog, mainly though I don't get to drive it. I've had it this week due to certain circumstances, but I figure it isn't going to last, thus I'm fixing up the Accord.

Trying to get a job, hehe

Well I've started reading books to improve my employable skills, who knows what's going to help, I figure I need to go find some volunteer work and go from there, eventually the job market will improve, the question is when, and will I be ready for it?

I hope my friends that your holiday's are bright.

My kids helped me to put up our Christmas decorations, everything looks peaceful and beautiful in our living room.

Peace on earth?

It is found while the night grows long as you stare into the glimmering lights of the Christmas tree.

That is when I've felt peace.

Happy Holidays everyone, life does get better.

I think 2010 will be a good year, I know it will.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

If the sale of the Accord doesn't go through let me know. I know of another vehicle that also needs some fixing that I could help you get.

~Susan

Strawberry Girl said...

Thanks Susan! :)

EcoGrrl said...

realize all the good fortune you do have even in turbulent times...you have your health, you have very minimal bills compared to some of us, and you have courage and strength that has led you to make the important decisions you needed to make. i am so proud of you sista!

ps - on the job thing, just getting out there and doing anything in the customer servicey world, even if it's not your ideal, is something i'd recommend, whether that be working at a grocery store or answering phones at a reception desk - you gain experience in everything and get to meet so many people :) and it's all in who you know in this job market.

Julene said...

It's good to see you keeping such a good attitude, Annie. I know what you mean about fearing for your children. The world just keeps getting more and more uncertain these days. All you can do is teach them what you know and do your best to help them understand. The rest is up to them.

PS sorry I haven't gotten Natalie's info yet, I am working on it. Probably get it to you today. :)

Anonymous said...

you remind me so much of a dear friend of mine I call her sissy and I think you have seen a poem or two on here on my blog

She is better now than 4 years ago even 1 year ago,. she has her own place, car, etc, but still not ahead in the finances, and living in a small town where jobs are few and far between, she works for an asshole of a man, but needs the work so sticks it out. She was left with debts she did not make and still paying for them.. SUCKS

I wish you great success in your job search. I wish you and your lovely children peace, happiness and much blessings for xmas and the new year.

There is nothing like looking in the eyes of your child ( children ) and feeling peace.

HUGS and Merry Xmas

Strawberry Girl said...

Grrl, thank you so much! You're always a strength and inspiration to me!

Julene, yes that is the feeling isn't it, despite all we must try to be positive.

Inky, that is such a difficult situation... I've been paying for unplanned for debt from the beginning of my relationship and I hate it! Fortunately I do not have to contend with the majority of it... enough debt to buy a house with, OI! No, I've been spared somewhat so I count myself fortunate there. Thanks as always for the support. :) XOXO

Corrie Howe said...

Happt Holidays to you too. Here's hoping 2010 is a great year for you.

Opaque said...

2010 will be a great year! I'm sure about it!