Sometimes you don't realize how hungry you are until you sit down to a really good feast. Especially when everything is balanced and well prepared, it is at times like that that I really understand how truly undernourished I feel at times.
Feast
A feast upon good words, the words of the Gospel.
Envision a summit, the goal of which is to reach the peak and rest and which you can so clearly see as you set out to reach it. In the beginning it is easy to climb, many people have set out before you and the path is well marked. It is slightly challenging but you adapt to the changes and get used to the shifting rocks that you come across at times. You even play a bit and are exhilarated by the challenge before you, then you reach a point where the path becomes more difficult, you hear some friends calling "come here, the path is easier," and you follow them only to find yourself entrapped in a gulf with weeds choking the way. Then at some point you get out and start again, only you know to avoid the weeds, and as you reach a clearing you see again the peak, the goal.
So you set out again and this time you meet some on their way down and as you greet them they tell you of the straightness of the path and how perilous the journey, some even tell you that they don't even believe that the summit exists. Then you become discouraged, not seeing the summit anymore you find you disbelieve yourself.
Then there are others who are pressing forward and they tell you of their firm belief, remembering your vision of the peak you question your doubt and are ashamed that you were persuaded to disbelieve. So not knowing which to believe, the ones saying that yes there is a summit or those who say no, there is not you enter a state of cautious trial thinking that you will continue to climb, but slowly evaluating each step. Then the path becomes unbearable, you find yourself feeling foolish and at times hypocritical, the path seems incredibly long.
The songs and the words of those who believe irritate and bite at you. You can't seem to live up to those standards those "unrealistic" ideals. Their words seem injunctions against you and your existence, their songs the idealistic drivel of blind believers.
Yet the opposite crowd seems so lost and fallen, their groping blindness so repulsive.
Still thinking that you can find your way by your diligent effort you continue on, only your not quite sure where your going. So you walk right past the words of the one, though you glance at them and you are repulsed by the words of the other, though they seem compelling.
Somehow, though you've become disillusioned you still believe that the goal is worth reaching, even though you are starving for the answers to your questions.
Feast
A feast upon good words, the words of the Gospel.
Envision a summit, the goal of which is to reach the peak and rest and which you can so clearly see as you set out to reach it. In the beginning it is easy to climb, many people have set out before you and the path is well marked. It is slightly challenging but you adapt to the changes and get used to the shifting rocks that you come across at times. You even play a bit and are exhilarated by the challenge before you, then you reach a point where the path becomes more difficult, you hear some friends calling "come here, the path is easier," and you follow them only to find yourself entrapped in a gulf with weeds choking the way. Then at some point you get out and start again, only you know to avoid the weeds, and as you reach a clearing you see again the peak, the goal.
So you set out again and this time you meet some on their way down and as you greet them they tell you of the straightness of the path and how perilous the journey, some even tell you that they don't even believe that the summit exists. Then you become discouraged, not seeing the summit anymore you find you disbelieve yourself.
Then there are others who are pressing forward and they tell you of their firm belief, remembering your vision of the peak you question your doubt and are ashamed that you were persuaded to disbelieve. So not knowing which to believe, the ones saying that yes there is a summit or those who say no, there is not you enter a state of cautious trial thinking that you will continue to climb, but slowly evaluating each step. Then the path becomes unbearable, you find yourself feeling foolish and at times hypocritical, the path seems incredibly long.
The songs and the words of those who believe irritate and bite at you. You can't seem to live up to those standards those "unrealistic" ideals. Their words seem injunctions against you and your existence, their songs the idealistic drivel of blind believers.
Yet the opposite crowd seems so lost and fallen, their groping blindness so repulsive.
Still thinking that you can find your way by your diligent effort you continue on, only your not quite sure where your going. So you walk right past the words of the one, though you glance at them and you are repulsed by the words of the other, though they seem compelling.
Somehow, though you've become disillusioned you still believe that the goal is worth reaching, even though you are starving for the answers to your questions.
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