Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Tonight

This morning during my sleepy contemplations I was thinking about my lovely little girl. Tonight, I plan on making dinner and then pulling out the buckets in the hallway (that are way up high) with the kids toys and sitting in the living room with her to play.

I plan on walking down the trail to feed the ducks, sticking my feet into the shivering water and holding my little princesses hand as she does so as well...

Life went, from blurry yesterdays to lonely and silent today's in a blink. Yesterday Angie was just coming out of Headstart, I was rushing to take a picture of Sione in his blessing clothes before he grew out of them on a hot and busy day. Yesterday, I was jumping out the window with my kids into the swimming pool in the back... I was still a kid.

I studied hard, read and re-read the textbooks of my collegiate days while my children played at my feet and asked for sandwiches and hugs. Yesterday I cried because they were growing, I carried them and cuddled them, and cried.

I've always been working towards some indefinable goal of freedom, some tangible relief from struggling for a moment to spend with my kids. To spend as myself.

Tonight, I'm going to play. I'm going to sing nursery rhymes and hold hands with my daughter and fall down in laughter with her. Tonight.

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