This is blogging while blind, frustrated by situational scenarios of the day that have me up far later than I want to be.
I was on track for getting to bed on time, then fate intervened. Sam called me up and wanted a picture of his drivers license from when he went by a different last name, which happened to be under a pile of carefully packed stuff in the trailer outside. I hate digging through piles of stuff in order to extract files of stuff for my ex. I wonder why I am still babysitting him? Then I had to figure out how to get a good picture of said license and send it to him. I ended up scanning it, emailing it to myself and then sending it to him.
Enough said.
So, my goal of getting up early and getting to the gym has gotten just that much harder.
I am fighting a battle here with my own insecurities and fears. Reality and wishes. I want a strong healthy body, for my own sake honestly but partially and irationally because I fear that comparison of me to them. My beauty to others beauty. How do I measure up? Shallow, shallow, shallow world right well I'm a player in it, of course I'm attracted to strong healthy guys. My ex husband was a polynisian god when we first got married. Naturally built. BUT he wasn't healthy emotionally, he wasn't independent. I had to baby him. There are guys out there who worship their bodies, spend inordinate time at the gym. Who can really stand being with these guys, seriously? What I really want is someone with a healthy attitude, who values good health and exercises to maintain that health.
So that's my plan anyway, develop a strong healthy body.
Dating... it's nice. I've mostly been dating John, but there are other guys interested in me. I really owe it to myself to date more than one guy. John's a terrific guy though. We shall see.
Well it is LATE so I'm going to go sleep.
~SG
I was on track for getting to bed on time, then fate intervened. Sam called me up and wanted a picture of his drivers license from when he went by a different last name, which happened to be under a pile of carefully packed stuff in the trailer outside. I hate digging through piles of stuff in order to extract files of stuff for my ex. I wonder why I am still babysitting him? Then I had to figure out how to get a good picture of said license and send it to him. I ended up scanning it, emailing it to myself and then sending it to him.
Enough said.
So, my goal of getting up early and getting to the gym has gotten just that much harder.
I am fighting a battle here with my own insecurities and fears. Reality and wishes. I want a strong healthy body, for my own sake honestly but partially and irationally because I fear that comparison of me to them. My beauty to others beauty. How do I measure up? Shallow, shallow, shallow world right well I'm a player in it, of course I'm attracted to strong healthy guys. My ex husband was a polynisian god when we first got married. Naturally built. BUT he wasn't healthy emotionally, he wasn't independent. I had to baby him. There are guys out there who worship their bodies, spend inordinate time at the gym. Who can really stand being with these guys, seriously? What I really want is someone with a healthy attitude, who values good health and exercises to maintain that health.
So that's my plan anyway, develop a strong healthy body.
Dating... it's nice. I've mostly been dating John, but there are other guys interested in me. I really owe it to myself to date more than one guy. John's a terrific guy though. We shall see.
Well it is LATE so I'm going to go sleep.
~SG
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