Ok, I am safe, bloggity secured.
It is not like I want to turn this into some confessional... it is just that I don't want to have to constantly evaluate if what I say is going to hurt another.
The other is already hurt, I am sad about that, yet not sad enough to go back to what was.
I have forgiven, but it is ridiculous to continually refresh second chances, it is meaningless. So I had to stand firm this time, if I had anything like integrity to put out there.
Still, it is an odd feeling isn't it, suddenly freed from the burden of trying to make something work that wasn't.
At the same time, I have to reevaluate my parenting methods. I need to establish a routine and boundaries, be firm, it is an odd feeling indeed.
I do feel as though I should feel guilty, but don't because it was the right thing to do.
What else is odd is the fact that I have never been privileged to grow up in a stable predictable environment, so I don't know how that feels. My parents have stayed together, yet they are chaotic about what they expect, so expecting nothing they received confusion from us kids.
I was confused, still am, but I am trying to sort things out. How do you digest all of the information that you need to be the principle parent in the household... I was already forced into the role many times, but still, I had the dynamics of another persons personality to contend with.
I am sorry for his pain though, it is a hard thing to contend with the end of a long term relationship.
Hopefully I can make some smart decisions and things will go well... I just need to stay on my toes I suppose.
Go fill out paperwork, look for a job.
SG
It is not like I want to turn this into some confessional... it is just that I don't want to have to constantly evaluate if what I say is going to hurt another.
The other is already hurt, I am sad about that, yet not sad enough to go back to what was.
I have forgiven, but it is ridiculous to continually refresh second chances, it is meaningless. So I had to stand firm this time, if I had anything like integrity to put out there.
Still, it is an odd feeling isn't it, suddenly freed from the burden of trying to make something work that wasn't.
At the same time, I have to reevaluate my parenting methods. I need to establish a routine and boundaries, be firm, it is an odd feeling indeed.
I do feel as though I should feel guilty, but don't because it was the right thing to do.
What else is odd is the fact that I have never been privileged to grow up in a stable predictable environment, so I don't know how that feels. My parents have stayed together, yet they are chaotic about what they expect, so expecting nothing they received confusion from us kids.
I was confused, still am, but I am trying to sort things out. How do you digest all of the information that you need to be the principle parent in the household... I was already forced into the role many times, but still, I had the dynamics of another persons personality to contend with.
I am sorry for his pain though, it is a hard thing to contend with the end of a long term relationship.
Hopefully I can make some smart decisions and things will go well... I just need to stay on my toes I suppose.
Go fill out paperwork, look for a job.
SG
5 comments:
I am so sorry to hear you are getting a divorce. How are you and the kids coping? I hope you can feel peace in your situation. You're in my prayers.
I'm still here! (Usually there is a round of apathy at this point!)
Thanks for approving my request to continue following your blog. And I, too, am sorry for the chaos and difficulties of your life. I also went through a divorce many years ago and it is never easy. In fact, I think it was the pain from my divorce that made me work all the harder when I eventually remarried. Try to keep looking ahead...I'm sure there are some wonderful bright lights out there.
Sunny, this is something that should have been done a long time ago. The kids seem to be fine, though that cannot be assured all the time. Roxie is a little more demanding, though that might have just happened anyway, because she is getting older. Sione took it hard but then has slept over with his dad several times and now seems fine. Koli and Angie, well, they are reasonable kids, they are taking it well. Thanks for the comment Sunny! :)
Hi Graham, thank you.
Thank you Mark.
Honored to have all of your support.
oh my god I never knew you had these other blogs.. smacks self on head.. WTF .. sorry. Wow now I have allot of reading to do. ty for your visit this morning. Glad to see you back. sorry I never looked closer at your profile. It's not something I do allot.. My mind is in circles this past month. I am afraid to call home or annswer the phone as there has been so much going on with my families side and my sisters mom n law.. take care and god bless. Love the blog, now I have to check out your other ones.. SMILES
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