In the Comfort Zone

Living life outside of the comfort zone. 

I have found that I learn the most when I push myself outside of my comfort zones.

There is a concept of order vs. chaos, order seemingly the better of the two. 

When I was a little girl I preferred nestling myself down among the chaos that was our family room/basement and creating order out of the chaos. I had this passion for organizing it all and the desire to learn about everything. Somehow I thought that I would be able to relate to people better if I knew more about things. I wanted to pause time so that I could study it all and then un-pause time to start my life. I guess the root of this is that I really like to think deeply about things and find it hard to discuss my thoughts with others until I have gotten a grasp on what I think about them. 

I am uncomfortable when I have to give an opinion about something that I haven't thought very much on. Especially if it's a hot button topic like politics. Partially this stems from a desire to not rock the boat, and partially it comes from a desire to avoid looking like an idiot and/or going against public opinion. I prefer to really state my opinions only when I have fully formed my opinions and not just go with the consensus of the crowd. I am embarrassed whenever I do state things off the cuff... 

In some ways this is a good thing, it is a measured life and I consider myself to be a reasonable person most of the time. In some ways this is a bad thing because it takes me a long time to decide what I believe to be true and in the meantime I can't pause time like I desire to so life passes by while I am on the sidelines thinking about things.

So the comfort zone, things that are outside of my comfort zone are things that disrupt my schedule or that put me into situations where I have to be assertive and somewhat spontaneous. I like to get out and do things but I like to plan to get out and do things OR do spontaneous things after I've gotten what I need to do taken care of first. 

I really have to force myself to go to team events, go down to the lunch room for lunch, or do other activities especially when I have a lot of things to do at work.