Thursday, August 23, 2018

Scared but Moving Forward

Today I took another brave step and went back to Toastmasters. I was writing a nice speech about ideas but it wasn't nearly polished enough for me to give it so I feel back on poetry as my theme. This went over well enough, I knew that I couldn't bore them reciting excerpts from "The Raven" or Rudyard Kiplings poem "If." I've read these poems enough to not stumble over much over the words... I was cheating a little bit though going this route. I have decided that even though my tongue feels like I've touched it to a 9 volt battery and I feel like I've ran a race after every speech I've given that I should keep going to Toastmasters. I need the discipline of actually writing and editing speeches and I need the practice of getting up to talk in front of people. I am introverted so these types of challenges are very draining and I need a lot of time to recharge after them, but perhaps by continuing I can improve my presence of mind when talking to other people. I've figured out that I am perfectly fine chatting with people but after a few non-challant sentences I run out of things to say. That's when my brain freezes up and I panic. This is the biggest single thing that has kept me from progressing at work. I see certain flaws/weaknesses in myself like this and know that I can't will them away from reading a book and no amount of interesting Youtube videos on charisma will help me unless I interact with people more consistently both on a casual basis and formally as well. So Toastmasters it is!

SG

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