Today I had the occasion of sitting in a court house, awating to speak to the judge about something that I had no control over and still don't have any control over but which has been the primary source of antagonism in my life for the past year and a half... almost two years.
Actually this was the second case of the day, (different matters) the first one at 10 am the next at 2. Agravating the situation is the fact that they sent us to the wrong court room, we sat through a trial, then found that we were late to the court room that we were supposed to be in and had to sit through about 30 custody cases before being able to speak to the judge to tell him that we had been there all that time (before he issued a bench warrant).
So during the time from 2-3 while we were in the wrong court room I was pondering the lawyers and the arguments, the judge and the process and of course writing whatever I could that came to mind.
Some of what I was thinking is that I have always tended to shy away from argument, I hate it when people try to "read" other people and make judgements about them; in my quest to avoid judging others I also have found that I excuse others, don't get angry about things that I rightly should get angry about and subsequently get taken advantage of at times.
This tendancy has improved quite a bit without suffering from too judgemental an attitude, but still it has led me into situations (some that I am currently in) that have been very agravating, and if I would have judged correctly the people and situations that I was confronting things would be a lot less messy than they are now.
Another tendancy is my hatred of being the bad guy, of saying no, putting my foot down, forcing the issue. Perhaps I need to change that and be more unafraid to push the issues a bit more. Part of it has to do with (unfortunantly and I hate bringing this up) the tendancy of my own Mom to not push the issues about anything. Plus insecurity, not wanting to be in that uncomfortable position of being angry and/or dealing with others anger.
Another bit of thought today was the idea that for some reason society has turned against those who strive after excellence. They uphold idiocy, stupidity and find a great deal of humor in it all. I know the appeal, truely, yet I have to wonder about the world that we live in and how unfit people are becoming for critical thinking.
It is amusing to watch people being stupid, I suppose, there are many shows on TV that display peoples stupidity. To me though I feel a great sense of loss that there is so little enjoyment in, what used to be normal. Things like striving after the memorization of a great poem, the enjoyment of listening to someone perform a piece of piano music well, the enjoyment of intelligent conversation about the issues of life. These things used to be how people entertained each other while sitting around together at night.
I like thinking about things, writing stuff, talking to people... I wish there was someone to discuss it all with.
To this long post I'm going to add what I wrote in court.
Conjecture, supposition, clear headedness, arguement, blind judgement, is justice blind?
How much ignorance is there? How ignorant am I? Fit for the position, how much are we unfit? There is so much... Upstanding citizens, hard working, full of integrity, these citizens, these, are scorned for the heights they acheive. Shall I then fear to be upstanding? Shall I fear to lose friends and acquaintance? Who then shall I relate to? Who then shall I speak to?
Plus, as a closing thought (you can tell I have been thinking too much today can't you) people want those things that others have achieved, like success, brilliance, admiration and the houses and things and respect that have been earned by hard working citizens... yet they scorn those same people for their hard work, they scorn them as being snobby, arrogant, self important... when in reality who, if not these citizens, will be fit to lead, if everyone is caught up in the celebration of idiocy?
Interesting, that I have recieved this e-mail newsletter which starts out discussing these same issues, here is a link, (and just so you all know, I try to read both sides to the conservative/liberal argument because I am trying to be fair minded. And yes this is a highly conservative bent and could possibly offend someone, nevertheless they do make some good points)
(Omitting Link as it is no longer valid).
Actually this was the second case of the day, (different matters) the first one at 10 am the next at 2. Agravating the situation is the fact that they sent us to the wrong court room, we sat through a trial, then found that we were late to the court room that we were supposed to be in and had to sit through about 30 custody cases before being able to speak to the judge to tell him that we had been there all that time (before he issued a bench warrant).
So during the time from 2-3 while we were in the wrong court room I was pondering the lawyers and the arguments, the judge and the process and of course writing whatever I could that came to mind.
Some of what I was thinking is that I have always tended to shy away from argument, I hate it when people try to "read" other people and make judgements about them; in my quest to avoid judging others I also have found that I excuse others, don't get angry about things that I rightly should get angry about and subsequently get taken advantage of at times.
This tendancy has improved quite a bit without suffering from too judgemental an attitude, but still it has led me into situations (some that I am currently in) that have been very agravating, and if I would have judged correctly the people and situations that I was confronting things would be a lot less messy than they are now.
Another tendancy is my hatred of being the bad guy, of saying no, putting my foot down, forcing the issue. Perhaps I need to change that and be more unafraid to push the issues a bit more. Part of it has to do with (unfortunantly and I hate bringing this up) the tendancy of my own Mom to not push the issues about anything. Plus insecurity, not wanting to be in that uncomfortable position of being angry and/or dealing with others anger.
Another bit of thought today was the idea that for some reason society has turned against those who strive after excellence. They uphold idiocy, stupidity and find a great deal of humor in it all. I know the appeal, truely, yet I have to wonder about the world that we live in and how unfit people are becoming for critical thinking.
It is amusing to watch people being stupid, I suppose, there are many shows on TV that display peoples stupidity. To me though I feel a great sense of loss that there is so little enjoyment in, what used to be normal. Things like striving after the memorization of a great poem, the enjoyment of listening to someone perform a piece of piano music well, the enjoyment of intelligent conversation about the issues of life. These things used to be how people entertained each other while sitting around together at night.
I like thinking about things, writing stuff, talking to people... I wish there was someone to discuss it all with.
To this long post I'm going to add what I wrote in court.
Conjecture, supposition, clear headedness, arguement, blind judgement, is justice blind?
How much ignorance is there? How ignorant am I? Fit for the position, how much are we unfit? There is so much... Upstanding citizens, hard working, full of integrity, these citizens, these, are scorned for the heights they acheive. Shall I then fear to be upstanding? Shall I fear to lose friends and acquaintance? Who then shall I relate to? Who then shall I speak to?
Plus, as a closing thought (you can tell I have been thinking too much today can't you) people want those things that others have achieved, like success, brilliance, admiration and the houses and things and respect that have been earned by hard working citizens... yet they scorn those same people for their hard work, they scorn them as being snobby, arrogant, self important... when in reality who, if not these citizens, will be fit to lead, if everyone is caught up in the celebration of idiocy?
Interesting, that I have recieved this e-mail newsletter which starts out discussing these same issues, here is a link, (and just so you all know, I try to read both sides to the conservative/liberal argument because I am trying to be fair minded. And yes this is a highly conservative bent and could possibly offend someone, nevertheless they do make some good points)
(Omitting Link as it is no longer valid).
3 comments:
Hmmmmm. Who is stopping you from listening to that piano piece or memorising that poetry?
I often wonder why it is so important to have an opinion on everyone else's opinion .....y'know?
I figure, each to their own, and if I want to do something a certain way, I will, if Joe Blow doesn't well that's fine too.
But that's just my opinion on opinions :)
Sure glad the judge didn't issue that bench warrant!
I don't have that much experience with courts but recall how confusing it all was when I went once to fight a traffic ticket.
I get too pessimistic I suppose, I need to look for good instead of bad.
Thanks for the comments! ;D
SG
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